An author and educator has had to defend her statement suggesting that parents should seek their babies’ consent before changing their diapers.
Sexuality expert Deanne Carson sparked controversy with her remark during an ABC News segment discussing consent laws.
The expert stated that parents should establish a culture of consent from an early age, providing an example such as asking, “Iโm going to change your diaper now, is that alright?”
She noted that while a baby may not verbally respond, there are other ways to indicate consent, explaining, โBy allowing a moment for body language and making eye contact, youโre conveying to the child that their response is important.โ
Carsonโs perspective has ignited significant debate on social media.
One commenter shared, โI recall saying things like, โTime to change the diaper! Someone has wet pants! Letโs get a clean diaper on!โ But asking an infant for permission? That level of absurdity is truly unimaginable.โ
Another chimed in, โHonestly, when their diaper needs changing, they cryโthatโs their way of communicating! What has the world come to?โ
A third commenter pointed out, โWhen a baby cries, it’s often their way of asking to be changed since itโs the only way they can express discomfort. Failing to change a child in that situation is neglect.โ
Another person questioned, โWhat if they say no? Are we just supposed to leave them to develop a diaper rash?โ
On the other hand, some have come to Carson’s defense. One supporter wrote, โI fully support the idea of asking for consent before changing a child’s diaper and allowing them time to process the request. Kudos for bringing up such a challenging topic for discussion.โ
Another commenter added, โI donโt ask for consent to change diapers. However, as an early childhood educator responsible for changing other peopleโs childrenโs diapers, I always explain to each child what my intentions are and what will happen as I take them to the changing room. Itโs not because the child has a choice, but because I value the relationship I have with each child.โ
Katie Russell, a representative for the non-profit sexual violence organization R*** Crisis England and Wales, has come to Carson’s defense.
In an interview with Newsweek, she stated, โShe is making a very reasonable argument for fostering a โculture of consentโ in homes and with children starting from the earliest age.โ
โThis initiative focuses on encouraging parents and caregivers to develop positive habits by not assuming consent from their children, as well as teaching children that they have the right to make decisions about their own bodies.โ
Similarly, parenting coach Julie Romanowski notes that there are instances where parents have insisted their children do things instead of asking for their cooperation.
โRequesting a hug from a child instead of demanding one shows respect for that individual, regardless of their age. This is not only proper etiquette but also a fundamental way to honor their rights over their bodies and their lives,โ she explains, according to Global News.
Carson also responded to the significant backlash she received.
The expert expressed on the New Matilda website that she has been inundated with responses and โvile messagesโ that keep pouring in.
She clarified, โMy intention was not to imply that you need a baby’s consent to change a diaper. When it comes to health, hygiene, and safety, there are certain things that are non-negotiable.โ
โThe strategy focuses on modeling active communication between individuals during intimate or vulnerable moments from an early age. It involves demonstrating to children what care looks like in these contexts and fostering a family culture where the skills necessary for negotiating consent as adults are integrated into daily interactions.โ